WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
