:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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