She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize