He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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