And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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