high people should be assigned attendants
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
