I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
