I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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