But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
