Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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