i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
