I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am midnight drunk by noon
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
