Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
