ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
