I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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