My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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