just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
