The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
