apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
