I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So vagazzling was a success
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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