We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize