Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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