I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
