girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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