Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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