Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
