Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
