Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
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Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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