Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
