thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
