I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize