return my video game
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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