I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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