you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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