My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
