I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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