I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
