i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
