I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
