Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize