dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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