I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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