The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
