The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
