we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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