soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
