ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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