The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
