I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
