like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
