Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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