I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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