I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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