let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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