No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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