I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
