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• (216): View more from Ohio

  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  i'd get off the bar first.

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• (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were birth control emojis

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.

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• (858): View more from California

  I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby

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