I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.