the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.