It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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