I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
