One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
two words...techno handjob
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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